The number one problem with estate planning

The number one problem I hear from friends who are estate planning attorneys… getting started. Because who wants to talk about death, unknown and unfamiliar laws, and potentially wrecking their kids? Starting then is hard. The number one issue. Not starting. 

True story. I met with a couple. They were sharp, kind, successful and quite friendly. They wanted to talk through legacy issues. Their net worth grew over their career—much more than they thought it ever would. I asked what documents they had in place. They shared an awkward glance, “well… we sat down with the attorney but never signed.” 

When was this?

1985. 

Starting is not easy. 

Let me toss out an idea my wife had about the 10-minute clean. We struggle with four little kids to clean our house. We love to simply live most of the time and like many of you, don’t like to stop all the time and grab the little stuff. We end up cleaning in big swoops. Getting started isn’t easy. 

One day my wife said, let’s commit to clean for ten minutes. That’s it.  She set the timer and once we got past that curve of laziness, we were on a roll. Once the timer hit we were in our groove and didn’t want to stop until it was done.  

That might not work for you, or you could be one of those clean people. I don’t know. But what I do know is this. Starting can be tough. If you make a commitment to simply starting that is a good chunk of the battle.

I’ll keep this post shorter than typical, so you can grab your calendar and mark out 30 minutes to start on this stuff. Who do you need to call? What do you need to write down? What is next? 

Ready? Go. 

Inheritance that is a Blessing and not a Curse.

So how do we bequeath our money in such a way as to prevent spoiling our heirs? How do we avoid the problems wrought with lottery winners, entertainers, and pro athletes? How do we instill values to our children? Why do we have words in our culture like “trust fund baby” and silver spoon? 

The truth is money is like fire. If we don’t know how to use it, it is can hurt.  And if we take our eye off the fire and it can have devastating results. Money is the much the same. 

You wouldn’t give gas and a lighter to a young child without training on fire. Likewise, you wouldn’t give keys to your private jet and fuel without months of lessons and most likely a license. Then why do we give cash without any word from you on how to use it?

Uninhibited access to excess cash often leads to dramatic falls and crashes. 

So how do we give them money?

Well, how would you choose an investment? This list is not comprehensive but often we do some of the following. 

·      Gather data. 

·      Compare to benchmarks. 

·      Talk to professionals. 

·      Watch the market activity. 

·      Study trends. 

·      Look back and reflect on previous investments.

·      Talk with a  trusted advisor or friend about timing. 

·      If not sure, invest a smaller amount first, then add more later. 

How do most people decide inheritance? Typically, less steps. I’m not going to tell you a full plan here. But I do want to push your thinking. 

Cautions: 

1)    Don’t over hear your fellow board member’s wayward kid story. Some stories need more color to fully understand them. 

2)    Lean into the conversation. Let your heirs weigh in. Ask them questions. Do they want your money? Chances are they don’t really get the full picture. Ask them. And let them ask questions back. 

3)    Think bullets before cannons. Test them now while you are alive. Let that inform your final things. A friend regularly says, “Do your givin’ while you are livin’ so you are knowing where it’s going.” This is true for inheritance as well. 

4)    Give each child and grandchild something from your final bequests. Even if you largely choose charity over your kids. Being completely disinherited feels drastic to almost all.  

A friend’s wealthy grandmother recently died. Previously she had received an inheritance which was specifically mentioned as being “from her grandfather.” When her grandmother passed she received nothing but trinkets. Her words were interesting, “I knew it was coming, but it felt…I don’t know, odd. I’m not hurting for cash but man, hearing all those charities getting a ton, it felt weird. I felt jealous.” 

My point today, be intentional with your inheritance. Talk about it with our heirs. Spend time with trusted advisors. Resist the urge to make it overly simple or complex.