Isn’t legacy planning soft stuff without research or hard numbers? Legacy work leans into the softer side of culture and family dynamics, but it is not soft. Arguably this work is harder than that of the technical planning. Why? Because family and people are messy, especially when money is involved.

What does it look like to live a life of significance with the resources we’ve been given? Believe it or not, our money can be our biggest obstacle or our biggest resource in our pursuit of this worthy goal. Below are three strategies I’ve found to be helpful—both in my life and the lives of those I have counseled as a financial advisor—in seeking a life of purpose, consequence, and significance.

6 ways to Align your family with a Family Purpose Project. So, I know the idea of a purpose statement or vision statement and clarifying your family values might seem an unusual task. I get it. But I can assure you having clarity about who you are and what you’re all about will really help unify and align your family, and minimize struggles.

Money changes things, it amplifies life. Find a jerk without cash get him a job making big bucks and you get a bigger jerk.

There is a tendency people have to think money solves problems, allows for more options, encourages generosity, and solves martial fights. It turns out money does change things but not how you might expect.

“Honestly can you have a relationship with money? If so I don’t like mine. Money feels like my last boss, or my ex—too controlling and manipulative. I think I’d like to break up but I still need it and like it too much to break up.” Matt was 25 at the time he said those words to me. They struck me at honest, and a little weird. I never thought about money in those terms. I had always thought of it as a tool, which it is. But it’s more. Money amplifies the heart. Money reveals so much about us. How we spend, invest, protect, save and use it shows what we truly treasure.  

As I sat in the dentist’s office, I was complaining to myself about the wait. I had a 9:30 appointment, and I was there early, and it’s now almost 10. Yet I was still waiting. My cell reception was bad so I couldn’t be productive and check email—or honestly play my favorite cell phone game. I was mad. More specifically, I was entitled. I felt entitled to better service. I felt the I deserved faster internet connection, more prompt speed, and even a better chair.

So you have more than enough. “Good for you.” “What is it like?” Or my favorite condescending remark typically dripping with some venom, “It must be nice.” Having more than enough money has perks. But man! The relational aspects can bite back in weird ways. Having more than enough money changes our heart, relationships and kids is profound ways. 

When I was starting my career, I thought about success like a dog thinks about the tail it’s chasing in circles. I was sprinting around to get ahold of success, but what would I actually do if I caught it?

I had no idea.